You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
