...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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