I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
