Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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