guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
