btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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