What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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