Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
