I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
There's even glitter on my cock...
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