is wine microwaveable?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
