Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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