Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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