Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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