I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
