So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
