Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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