my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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