Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
