just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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