He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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