As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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