so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I want her autograph on my taint
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
