I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
