You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
