they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
