I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
