youre lurking in front of me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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