ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
