the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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