I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
time to smoke my breakfast
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
