Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize