i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
