are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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