Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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