thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
