the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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