I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
