i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
