it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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