Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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