Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
