i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
another moral hangover. fuck.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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