Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
