I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
