I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize