Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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