Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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