singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
