Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
