just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
