Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
