check it out our google latitudes are spooning
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
