I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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