Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You ruined the universe
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
