Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
