your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
