She's JV to your varsity
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize