So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
