I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
