So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
