i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
