I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
