why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
