Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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